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What You MUST Know About Self-Sabotage

In my near-decade of health and life-coaching, I have come to understand something incredibly important about breaking through our own glass ceilings; whether that is with our weight, our careers, relationships, creativity or leadership. 

When people often come to me, they are looking for their next right step, a blueprint to success. Who doesn’t want that, right? Just tell me what to do! (Lawd, give me some certainty!)

They don’t yet realize there are infinite ways to get where they want to go, and that they are actually the genius, the author and the artist in their life all in one; that they are creating the masterpiece. 

Strategy can be a really great tool, but will not determine our success. We do. And most of us don’t really know that our unconscious mind, conditioning, and past pain are actually driving 90% of what we do.

Become a Mind Ninja

So, becoming a NINJA at managing our own mind, understanding our own hearts and our own personal saboteurs can be crucial and are often the missed steps when we try to change our circumstances because it feels less linear or certain.  

And learning how to manage these parts of ourselves means we must become experts on the part of us that sabotages us, how they hold us back and why. 

Yes, we all have our saboteurs. We are ALL standing in the way of our own potential; sometimes in obvious ways, sometimes in really nuanced, sneaky ways. It is part of being human. And I have come to believe, just as shame is universal (thank you Brene Brown), so is the impulse to sabotage our dreams, our desires, and our joy. 

Our saboteurs are a functional part of our human machinery, to protect us from emotional and physical harm. They are well-intentioned but ill-informed and as Debbie Ford puts it, 

“What we won’t BE with won’t let us BE.” 

The Catalyst for Growth

Here’s the really cool thing. The part of us that is holding us back actually has REALLY important information for us about how to soar to new heights. And the thoughts and emotions they are feeding us day after day become painful enough that eventually an internal transformation is required. 

Our saboteur is our catalyst for growth because pain is a powerful catalyst for change. 

So, in that way, our shadows deliver our light to us. And they deserve our respect. No amount of telling your fear to shut up and sit down will get the job done. In fact, it will only exhaust you because it’s not going anywhere. Again, it’s a functional part of your human machinery and reflexive. 

We must enter the cave with our own shadows, sit down with a cup of coffee, and say, “I’m ready to listen to you.” And listen, and take notes, and learn how to JOIN forces with them, instead of resisting them. 

Ready to Learn More?

If you are curious about how your saboteur is showing up in your life and you are ready to sit down with them for a short while so you can learn to join forces with them, check out my FREE workshop, “The Secrets in Your Sabotage” at MFF on Sept 15th. You won’t be sorry. 

Curious but not ready to sign up yet and show up on a Sunday? Watch my TEDx on this very subject! You may just change your mind. 

Rock On & Be Well,
Beth Wittig Clayton

Join Beth for “The Secrets in Your Sabotage” Workshop on Sunday, September 15 at MFF Bowery.


Beth Clayton is a TedX speaker, health & life coach and writer. She has been featured on Tiny Buddha, Elephant Journal, Reader’s Digest and Positively Positive as well as numerous podcasts. She has led hundreds of Ninjas through her soul-based health coaching program Soul Body System at MFF before and since moving to Washington D.C.

As a coach, she continues to help people let go of past pain, condition outdated belief systems and step into a more ignited and loving relationship with their body, their mind and their most powerful resource – their inner being. You can get her free e-book, “The Secrets in Your Sabotage” at


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