by Jessica Myhr, Ninja and Style Guru, Owner of Inherent Style
I will be stylish when I…
- lose 5 pounds or 10 or 20 or 100.
- have lots more money and can buy Chanel, Marc Jacobs, Diane Von Furstenberg or Gucci
- have a bigger closet or apartment
- change jobs
Does this sound like you?
It is a conversation I have with my clients often – the “WHAT IF” of wardrobe. When I am smaller, richer, and happier…THEN my clothing will reflect my life. Or really… when I feel WORTHY I will dress my best self.
What if I told you…
Dress for what you want, not what you have.
Dress for who you want to be, not who you were yesterday.
How would that change how you dress? What would you wear?
No really, think about it. Give yourself two minutes to imagine your perfect outfit.
That wasn’t so hard was it?
A working wardrobe lives with you IN THE MOMENT. It is not reflected in the clothes in your closet that are “in between” sizes or in your high school prom dress or that patchwork sweater Grandma knit for you that you never wear. It is the clothing you deal with EVERY day. And as such, it can either work with you, for you, or very much against you, as part of a narrative of negativity and self-doubt.
Let’s Start with Some Self-Love
Do you want more confidence in your life? Do you want to feel better about your body? Who doesn’t? A huge act of self-love is to take the time to dress yourself, making a conscious choice about what you wear. Empowerment comes from the choosing. From investing in your decision – investing in YOU. What makes you feel good? What colors do you love? When do you feel your BEST self? Throw that together with a healthy dose of “Why Not?”
Sometimes we view wardrobe as a reward…when I do {fill in the blank} then I will buy X, Y or Z. I myself have been eyeing this amazing Frye leather bag. I LOVE it. I WANT it. But I don’t feel like I DESERVE it…yet.
This is a bag I can use every day. It is sexy, rugged and classy. It can even hold a laptop and is the perfect size for airplane travel. It costs more than I am willing to spend (cheapest I have found so far is $349.99 on eBay). When will it truly be worth it? But really the question I am afraid to ask is when will I feel like I deserve it?
What if I invested in myself – just $1 every day. That is less than a cup of coffee in New York City. A rainy day fund that I can use for things that make me feel special, that have no purpose other than to make me happy, confident and enjoy my life to the fullest. But, why do we wait for that raining day? Why not create an EVERY day fund? Don’t you want all of those things right now? I do! But somehow, feeling worthy or deserving gets in our way of being and dressing our best self.
Changing this pattern of thinking doesn’t happen overnight, nor does the way you get dressed in the morning. Building confidence in your wardrobe and your choices takes daily practice. (TWEET THAT SHIT!) The payoff is how you feel, how you radiate, how people start paying attention because YOU are paying attention. Because at the end of the day, YOU are the person that makes YOU matter. You are in charge of your EVERY day fund of self-worth.
Daily Practice Tips:
1) Accessorize!
Pick one thing you love in your wardrobe and build an outfit around it for a day. It can be anything – a hat, scarf, bag, belt or those yellow sandals you bought on impulse. A “put together” look often means putting on a few more accessories. I am not saying become a jewelry stand, but one piece at a time, maybe next week try two!
2) Wear a BOLD color!
If your closet is full of neutrals (or 75% black as is most New Yorkers) wearing color takes some confidence. Break out of your color rut, and wear something fun that makes you feel energized. It can be a trendy color of the season, or just something you’ve never tried before but have always been drawn to.
3) Get Inspired!
Sometimes we just need to get out of our comfort zone. New York is full of street wear inspiration. Start noticing some outfits you love. Once you get an idea, you can recreate it using pieces from your own wardrobe. Steal from the internet—there are countless bloggers, lookbooks and celebrities that you can research on how to put looks together. Create a style board for yourself on Pinterest, filled with what you love, and then you’ll be more inspired before that next shopping trip
Stop making excuses. You ARE worth it, EVERY day. You already have style – it is within you. Maybe you just need a little more daily practice. Watch for me carrying that amazing bag, you’ll know I just tapped into my EVERY day fund. I’m not waiting anymore for that perfect sometime. What are you waiting for?