Strapped for Time? Your Body Is a Barbell!

OK, so here’s the scene:

You’re in your apartment, it’s been a crazy day and lots o’ shit came up causing you to cancel your training session. You’re bummed about it, and you also know that if you don’t do some kind of exercise your marbles are going to jump out of your head and scatter themselves on your floor.

You. Need. To. Exercise.

I Got Your Back

Welcome back from that stressful realization that you need something to do, some kind of training that will keep you on track and keep you from going Looney Tunes.

Rather than having to solve that problem in the moment of stress, let’s solve that problem now so that you have a bank of workout ideas if just such an occasion strikes.

This may raise for you a valid question.

“Good Mr. Bumgardner, just what am I going to do? I don’t have any equipment in my apartment and it’s the size of a 1990 Toyota Tercel!”

That’s a great question, and here’s your answer: you’re simply going to use your body as a piece of equipment. I’ll walk through two workouts you can do at home in case you can’t make it to your training session.

But First, Some Education…

I’m not going to get all pedantic on you with ridiculous fitness education, but I think understanding a few basics will help you understand the construction of these workouts, as well as give you the tools to get creative and paint yourself a nice little Bob Ross of a workout, complete with happy trees. And remember, “There’s nothing wrong with having a tree as a friend.”

As we construct these workouts, we want to think about covering our movement bases to include all of the fundamental movements in a workout so that we have balanced training in the promotion of a balanced, strong, sleek, svelte, sexy, body.

These basic movements include:

  • Hinging (think deadlifting or, for this purpose, anything that works your hammies/glutes)
  • Squatting (ya’ll be knowing what squats are)
  • Upper-Body Pushing (push-ups, etc.)
  • Upper-Body Pulling (rows, pull-ups, etc.)
  • Everything Else (this includes core work, lunging, carrying things, crawling, etc.)

These are all of the things we need to hit to create a balanced workout. Are there times when it’s worth it to get out of balance? Sure. But balance works for our current purpose. Word? Word.

Keeping balance in mind, let’s walk through a couple workout examples. And remember, as you try these, there are no mistakes, only happy accidents.

The Burgundy

“It’s a deep burn!”

We’ll call this one The Burgundy because you’re going to feel a burn so deep. You’ll be holding isometrics (staying in a position without moving) for 30 seconds, then resting for 30 seconds while utilizing all of the fundamental patterns that we mentioned above. And you’ll do that in a circuit. Check it.

Exercise Work Rest Rounds O’ Circuit
A1. Glute Bridge 30 seconds 30 seconds 3-6
A2. Push-Up ISO* 30 seconds 30 seconds 3-6
A3. Squat ISO* 30 seconds 30 seconds 3-6
A4. Floor Batwings 30 seconds 30 seconds 3-6
A5. Bear Crawl Hold 30 seconds 30 seconds 3-6

*Hold the bottom position of these movements for the entire 30 seconds

The Fireman

You’re going to climb up and down a couple of ladders for this workout, a couple of rep ladders.

A rep ladder starts at a low number of reps, then ascends to a higher number of reps before descending back down to that low number of reps. Because firemen climb a lot of ladders. (At least they do in the movies.)

So, now here we are:

Ladder Circuit A

Exercise Work Rest Rounds O’ Circuit
A1. Single Leg Glute Bridge 1 rep per side up to 10 reps per side and back down As much as you need to feel ready—no more Just follow the reps!
A2. Push-Ups 1 rep up to 10 reps and back down As much as you need to feel ready— no more Just follow the reps!
A3. Plank 1 breath up to 10 breaths and back down As much as you need to feel ready—no more Just follow the reps!

Ladder Circuit B

Exercise Work Rest Rounds O’ Circuit
A1. Bodyweight Squats 1 rep per side up to 10 reps per side and back down As much as you need to feel ready no more Just follow the reps!
A2. Floor Batwings 1 rep up to 10 reps and back down As much as you need to feel ready no more Just follow the reps!
A3. Side Planks 1 breath per side up to 10 breaths per side and back down As much as you need to feel ready no more Just follow the reps!

Get It In!

Just because you couldn’t make it to the gym doesn’t mean that you can’t get your workout in. When life gets crazy, and you have to miss a session, pull this sucker back up and run yourself through The Burgundy or The Fireman. You’ll keep your training on track and keep those marbles securely stowed inside your cranium.


Want more great workout to do at home?

Download 3 Free MFF Video Workouts


Todd Bumgardner is a co-founder of Strength Faction and a co-owner of Beyond Strength Performance NOVA, two companies committed to human development for development’s sake. He’s also an avid outdoorsman, and infinitely in love with his home state, Pennsylvania, specifically resting his heart in Mifflin County. He also unashamedly promotes the cuteness of his red nosed Pitbull, Stella.

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