My Favorite Type of Foreplay

When’s the last time you blew through your pre-sweat sesh foreplay?

You know what I’m talking about. Those times when you just can’t be bothered to go through all of that effort. When you’re just too damn tired to spend some time slowly working your way around, even though you know it’ll make the entire experience more enjoyable.

Wait.

You thought I was talking about sex here? Close. Instead, we’re going to talk about something far less exciting: the warm-up. But in the interest of keeping things mildly entertaining, we’re going to relate everything about the warm-up and training back to foreplay and sex.

Why? Because there happen to be a ton of similarities between working out and having sex, aside from the fact that we typically do one to have more of the other.

Remember that thing that you do at the beginning of each training session? Where it feels like you’re just rolling around on the floor, breathing a bit more deeply, and twisting yourself into strange positions? Again, not talking about sex here.

Yeah, well much like foreplay, that warm-up can be all too easy to skip out on when you’re just not quite that into it. And much like paying attention to foreplay can make sex infinitely more enjoyable, paying attention to your warm-up can help get you stronger and hotter. Here’s why.

The warm-up is an integral part of the training program, because it prepares your body for the actual work you’re about to put it through by crushing heavy weights and getting sweaty. It does this primarily by:

• Increasing circulation
• Raising your core body temperature
• Getting your joints moving through a proper range of motion
• Priming your body for the work you’re about to do

All of these things allow you to have a higher quality lifting session and, in turn, get more out of each and every time you train. But really all you need to know about that is that if you’re having higher quality lifting sessions, it’s going to be far easier to get stronger, drop more fat, and get hotter. Simple, right?

While all of that is well and good, it doesn’t change the fact that going through a warm-up is boring as fuck. And that makes it the easiest thing to skip in a program.

And this is exactly why it helps to look at warming up like foreplay. You know why you should pay attention to foreplay. Foreplay is all about adding to the overall experience, and improving the enjoyment that both you and your partner share.

(S)he’s just not that into you

Sure, there are times where it’s fun to skip all of that and get straight to business. There’s no doubt about that. And the same can be said with lifting. There are certain days you walk into the gym so fucking hype that the mere thought of waiting any longer before lifting a metric fuck ton of weight just isn’t acceptable.

But if you try that for an extended period of time, you’re playing with fire and asking to get burned. That’s how injuries happen, and when injuries happen, breaks from the gym tend to happen. Which means the pursuit of health and hotness gets put on hold.

When it comes to actual foreplay, that just makes you an inconsiderate lover.

Point being–not paying attention to foreplay or your warm-up consistently makes you an inconsiderate asshole and someone who is missing out on a serious opportunity to increase the quality and effectiveness of your training sessions.

So, how long should pre-lifting foreplay take?

Unlike actual foreplay, there’s a time limit that exists with warming up before a lift. 10-15 minutes. That’s it.

Boned up, Ready to go

The most important thing to remember with a warm-up is that it serves one purpose: to get you ready to lift. That’s it. It’s not there to replace the lift, only complement it. As such, it shouldn’t take you very long to get through at all. After all, you’ve got shit to do. There’s no reason to spend all day long rolling around the gym floor.

Remember all of those reasons why a warm-up is awesome? Those can all happen in a short amount of time. In fact, just to give you an example, here’s a made-for-you warm-up that uses some of the biggest bang for your buck movements.

All of these function to get you all hot and bothered before the grand finale, so your time in the gym can be everything you’ve hoped and dreamed of. Check it out:

Deep Belly Lift Breathing

(Repeat for 5 big breaths)

90/90 Hip Lift

(Repeat for 5 big breaths)

Spiderman Lung w/ Arm Circle

(Repeat 5x each side)

Rocking Sphinx

(Rock for 30 Seconds)

Give these a go before your next training session. You’ll wind up feeling stronger, sexier, and owning your lift unlike ever before. All thanks to a few minutes of pre-lift foreplay.
Oh, and you should probably keep most of your clothes on. Keyword: most.

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Tanner Baze is a Ninja Trainer-in-Residence and token Texan at Mark Fisher Fitness. He is a Precision Nutrition certified coach and Complete Human Performance certified personal trainer. He’s also a freelance writer, world class snuggler, and repository of useless facts. You can find him on Instagram, Facebook, or check out his website.