There was a lot of shame surrounding my decision to train at MFF and just as much fear, and that same shame and fear accompanied me in most situations in my life, from meeting a new group of people for the first time to walking into an audition room to going on a date.
I think that I found MFF at the perfect time in my life. I had been out of school for a year, I was (am) still very young, I felt completely directionless, I wasn’t satisfied with what I saw when I looked in the mirror, I was in a tricky relationship, and I needed something to help start me down a different path in my life.
I can say without hesitation that the greatest change for me has taken place in my mind.
Throughout all of this, my shame and fear has diminished immensely. Of course little gremlins pop up every now and again in the back of my mind, but don’t we all have our little demons to deal with? (#dievampiredie!)
Overall I have never felt so comfortable and present in my mind and in my body. Lifting has helped to sync up my active analytical mind, my breath, and my musculature in a very tangible way, and all of the little lessons I’ve learned about myself and how my body works while doing bench presses or deadlifts I have been able to carry with me into other aspects of my life.
I know more about my body than I ever did before, and self knowledge has given me power and confidence. The fact that I did something that I never before thought I could do has adjusted my attitude immensely. I’m singing again, I’m taking dance classes left and right, I’m auditioning… I’ve started to find my stride. I would not have been able to find the power and will in myself to do these things again had I not come to MFF when I did.
This mentality of making progress where you can, of making something about yourself 1% better every day, of finding the good in the worst moments and letting that guide you towards your goals, THAT has been the most unique aspect of my MFF journey.