by Ninja Master Mark Fisher
I. Am a fucking lunatic. Seriously.
I’m not much for deferring to social conventions, and at this point in my life, I’ve come to a place of acceptance and made peace with this fact. (Mind you, I DO have tact and social intuition, so I don’t wear leopard print unitards to weddings, don’t worry Mom.)
This is literally, actually, seriously just another day at the office.
It’s fair to say my quirky, off-beat humor has set the tone for MFF’s brand of “Ridiculous Humans, Serious Fitness.” When I teach and train Ninjas, I drop f bombs like it’s my job (though I guess it almost is at this point). I use elaborate metaphors to explain the nuances of training and nutrition that involve fantastical imagery, graphic sex references, and any number of bodily functions. To say this is a departure from the fitness industry’s conventional and often conservative approach would be quite an understatement.
I can’t help it. I’ve always been drawn to the ridiculous in life. I think this comes out of an appreciation of my own mortality, and the existential angst that tortured me through much of my youth. The absurdity of the human experience was a source of constant pain for me. Couldn’t people see how inherently meaningless life is? How could anyone take anything seriously when any number of freak occurrences could snuff out a life and the survival of the human race was under constant threat from nuclear weapons, global warming, etc.?
Needless to say, I was a MAJOR fucking drag. Happily, thanks to being blessed with some understanding friends, I was able to extract my head from my ass and use life’s brevity and an uncertain afterlife as an impetus towards creating meaning, instead of an excuse for despair.
Ridiculousness is an important life value for me. I love modern art, absurdist theater, and Family Guy. I believe silliness and humor are the KY Jelly in the often painful process of working on one’s self (TWEET THAT SHIT!).
Let’s be honest, it’s fucking HARD to deal with your shit. Whether it be owning up to certain psychological quirks or self-limiting beliefs that have been barriers to success, or dealing with body issues and insecurities and taking the leap to make fitness a part of your life… the work of self improvement is by its very definition uncomfortable. As Joseph Campbell says, “the cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” While I do my best to help lead others into the cave, I try to lighten the mood by referencing pornography and unicorns.
I am aware MFF’s brand of ridiculousness is too out there for many. Sweet. No prob. However, I will lovingly suggest that anyone who doesn’t own a certain child-like love of play and creativity and silliness is really not living a whole life (TWEET THAT SHIT!). There. I said it.
I think fun is underrated. And I’m not talking about mindlessly eating junk food, watching reality TV, getting shit-faced wasted fun. Those are relatively small goals; easy to accomplish. I’m talking about FUN. With capital letters. Divine, sacred FUN. FUN that requires a type of work, and inventiveness, and creativity.
In a world that seems to conspire to rob all of us of the very traits that make us unique, we strive to make the Clubhouse an inclusive place that honors everyone’s individuality. Where folks are encouraged to let their respective freak flags fly. And even here, there is a rainbow of human experience and variety, as most folks are not as loco as the MFF team of ridiculous humans. And hey… that’s ok too. You do YOU.
My hunger for authenticity and genuine human connection is endless. To that end, MFF is a safe and nurturing space for people to own where they are: the good, the bad, the completely fucking twisted. It’s like we’re in Good Will Hunting. You’re Matt Damon, and I’m Robin Williams.
“It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.”
MFF is not and will never be for everyone. And THAT is ok with me too. I believe all humans must follow their own path to health and hotness. And in all honesty, if you feel super comfortable in a traditional gym, you might not enjoy a space so unicornish (NOT A WORD). Totally cool. You still fucking rock.
But if you’ve been intimidated by standard gym culture… if you’re nervous about having to do the hard work of self-improvement… if you think bodily functions are inherently LOL… I think there’s a home awaiting you. An Enchanted Ninja Clubhouse of Glory and Dreams populated by an Army of Ninjas; an extended fitness family you may not have even known you were missing.
I can’t wait to work with you. And sweat with you. And laugh with you. And love life with you.
I can tell we’re gonna be life long friends. Thanks for allowing ME a safe space to be my truest self. You rock! I can’t wait to get you in the best shape of your fucking life.
“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”
― Jack Kerouac, On the Road