In Defense of Hotness

We talk a lot about “Health and Hotness” round these parts.  It’s kind of what we do at MFF.   We make people healthy, and we make them look hot.  The first part isn’t very controversial.  After all, it’s totally acceptable to tell your coworker Nancy you’ve started working with a fitness coach because you want to be healthier.  Tell this same coworker you’re training for “hotness”, and you’re likely to get an eye roll.  Or more likely, a polite but fake encouragement followed by Nancy gossiping and giggling about your new goal to the other ladies at lunch.

And certainly this can be a questionable goal if the context is wonky.  Someone willing to do drastic and unhealthy things to be hot isn’t really our type of client.  Health must come BEFORE hotness, or hotness isn’t really sustainable.  Sure, you may be able to get that model-waif look by subsisting on 300 calories of lettuce a day and supplementing with crystal meth… for a while.  But ultimately, 1) I don’t think that’s gonna be a hot look anyway and 2) that’s not what I would call a solid long-term plan.


Dudes don’t think waify is hot.

Whereas, the above pic makes me want to bite something.


The term “hotness” itself can be challenging.  It’s sort of a tongue-in-cheek term, and I realize that even if a married lawyer in his 50’s with kids has hired us to make him look better in a swimsuit, “hotness” can sound kind of silly.  No problem.  I love words (YOU’RE FUCKING SHOCKED ADMIT IT), but I use them to communicate, and I’m happy to do away with words that present an obstacle.  But the actual word aside… can we still feel warm and fuzzy about fitness when we know aesthetics is our number one goal?

Wanna know I what I think?

Hell yeah.

Like most humans, I’ve worn many hats in my life.  Although of late it’s fair to say most people would probably think of me as an entrepreneur or a scientist or a ninja, I will ALWAYS be an artist first.  I’ve long considered myself a sculptor of the human body –   both by manipulating the variables of training and nutrition and by finding the best way to motivate different people to do what they need to do to achieve their self-expressed goals (which is, more often than not, to lose 5 to 15 pounds).

When you train for hotness, you’re seeking to make the world more beautiful by way of your own physique.  Yes, this can be done in a vain and narcissistic way.  But that’s not how we roll at MFF.  Don’t get me wrong, we want you to feel good out at the bars/ at the beach/ on your obligatory shirtless FB profile pic.  But having done this a shit-ton of times now, I can tell you this: the people we REALLY vibe with are the ones for whom hotness is merely an external manifestation of internal changes.

Some love for my ladies and my gays

(I feel like he probably has a positive body image)


We’re not interested in making beautiful shells for unhappy people.  We believe movement has therapeutic powers.  By racking up victories and seeking glory in their workouts and nutritional strategies, our ninja clients are forced to recognize their own power.  Do they make positive changes in their body that are aesthetically pleasing?  Sure.  But I’d wager what makes them glow with hotness is the self-confidence that comes with swinging heavier kettlebells, perfecting an exercise that was impossible a few weeks prior, doing a full pushup with textbook technique, and happily choosing the food that will fuel not only their physique goals, but their performance in the gym.

So the next time that bitch Nancy from accounting rolls her eyes at you when you say you’re working on your hotness… try to remember, it’s not really about you anyway.  She might just be secretly unhappy about her high cholesterol and how tight her suit pants have gotten and may be a tiny bit jealous of your newfound fitness success.

You know what?  Maybe you can forward her our newsletter.  Maybe she just forgot somewhere along the road of life that she too was a ninja, that she too can honor her body’s need for movement, that she too can live a life of health and hotness.

We can’t wait to work with you, Nancy.  And may I just say on behalf of MFF, we think you’re gonna be the most smokin’ hot chick in all of accounting.  Now let’s do some lunges you dirty minx.


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