Everything you need to know about BEING IN NYC’s MOST ADORABLE unicorn fitness cult

Hiya Ninja!

We are totally fucking stoked that you’ve decided to come ride the unicorn! In order to optimize your MFF experience, please take a moment to read over this Ninja Handbook and bookmark it to keep it handy.

Getting the best possible fitness results is about a lot more than just working out a few times per week. Read on for important information about getting started at MFF, making the most of your Membership, and making your fitness dreams a reality.

Chapter 1: “What’s with the Ninja thing?”

MFF isn’t like other gyms. We lead with our values and think ridiculousness is a key ingredient in your fitness journey. Learn more about our quirky approach to fitness here.

Chapter 1: “What’s with the Ninja thing?”

》Living Our Core Values
We believe that your personal values are the guardrails that help you stay on track in life. The MFF Team works to embrace our Core Values every single day by asking ourselves questions that represent those values. Questions like: What can I learn today? How do I impact others? How big can I be today?

We believe that being a true Ninja means being clear about what you value, and then working every day to embody those ideals.

We invite you to try out our values, or create your own. You’ll quickly find that self-mastery is a vital skill on the road to health and hotness.

》A Note from Mark Fisher
From “In Defense of Ridiculousness”

Ridiculousness is an important life value for me. I love modern art, absurdist theater, and Family Guy. I believe silliness and humor are the K-Y Jelly® in the often painful process of working on one’s self.

In a world that seems to conspire to rob all of us of the very traits that make us unique, we strive to make the Ninja Clubhouse an inclusive place that honors everyone’s individuality – where folks are encouraged to let their respective freak flags fly. And even here, there is a rainbow of human experience and variety, as most folks are not quite as loco as the MFF team of ridiculous humans. And hey… that’s ok too. You do YOU.

But, if you’ve ever been intimidated by standard gym culture… if you’re nervous about the hard work of self-improvement… if you think bodily functions are inherently LOL, you’ve found your new home. We’re an Enchanted Ninja Clubhouse of Glory and Dreams populated by an Army of Ninjas; an extended fitness family you may not have even known you were missing.

I can’t wait to work with you. And sweat with you. And laugh with you. And love life with you.

Chapter 2: How to Become a Ninja

New to MFF? We’ll guide you through the first few weeks of your journey and help you make the most of your new MFF Membership.

Chapter 2: How to Become a Ninja

》Stuff To Do:
❑ Watch the Ninja Baptism Virtual Workshop

As a new Ninja, you’ll definitely want to check out this video that covers the basics of movement technique and MFF’s quirky, helpful, and not-totally-safe-for-work glossary of terms.

❑ Book Your Visits

Download the MFF mobile app (Apple | Android) to book your visits directly from your smartphone. On a desktop computer, visit the Members section of and follow the links to Book a Class or Book a Training. Use your MINDBODY username and password to login.

❑ Take 3 Ninja Essentials Classes to Begin Your Journey

Got a Group Class Membership? If so, your first three classes should be Ninja Essentials which is designed to help you nail the basics before diving into other classes. (If you joined MFF through a trial, you probably already did this!)

Doing Small Group Personal Training? You can dive right into any times that work for you. SGPT allows for more individualization that lets us gently ease you in.


》 Stuff to Know:
❑ Canceling Your Visits / No-Show Policy

In-person class and SGPT sessions may be canceled with no penalty (an “early cancel”) up to 6 hours before the scheduled start time, virtual HomeBody classes up to 1 hour before the scheduled start time. Cancellations after these cut-offs (a “late cancel”) will count as one credit. No-shows will be charged a $10 fee for each occurrence. So please let us know if you’re not going to make it, we want you to keep your 10 clams!

❑ Using Class Waitlists & Standby Lists

When a class or SGPT session is full, you may add yourself to the digital waitlist. It stops functioning two hours prior to the start time, at which point the standby list begins. You may sign up for the standby list in person beginning two hours before the start time. If you’re not signed in by the start time, you will forfeit your spot to Ninjas on the standby list.

❑ Don’t be Scared of Waitlists

At first glance it might look as if getting into an MFF class is hard. And it’s true, we are very, very popular. However, not only do we see lots of movement in the waitlist as the early cancel deadline approaches, but Ninjas usually have luck showing up for the standby list.

❑ Tips for Booking Your Visits

The Ninja Clubhouse calendar is released at 12pm on the 15th of each month for the next month. Mark your calendar and book early to access the best availability!

❑ Using Member-Only Add-ons

We make it easy for you to add-on additional class or training visits each for those times when you need more fitness glory. Click here to see our special Member-Only add-on rates.

Chapter 3: Navigating The Enchanted Ninja Clubhouse of Glory and Dreams

This is the 411 about day-to-day life at the Ninja Clubhouse. How to book your visits, cancel your visits, manage your spot on a waitlist, and more

Chapter 3: Navigating the Ninja Clubhouse

The guidelines in this section have been created to ensure that we set clear expectations for all Ninjas about how we do things around here. We strive to make each guideline as simple and fair as possible, but it’s normal to have some questions. Don’t be shy! 

If there is anything we can do to clarify stuff in this handbook or improve your experience in any way, call us at 212-356-0020, or email [email protected].  We got you, Boo!


》Arriving for Your Visit

Arrive at least 5 minutes prior to your start time. Upon arrival, check in on the iPad in the Lobby. Be ready to go because we start classes and training sessions on time. 

At the official start time, any unoccupied spots may be made available to Ninjas who are on the Standby List. 

You may join a class or SGPT session in progress if you are participating in the warm-up within the 5-minute period following the scheduled start time. After the 5-minute grace period you will not be able to join the class or training session and it will count as a late cancellation.


》How To Use Your Membership Credits

With your MFF Membership, you have been allotted a specified number of class and/or training sessions to access each 4 week billing cycle. During the term of your agreement, a new allocation of credits is available for your use, starting with your first auto-payment and expiring 28 days later. 

Your unused credits will not carry over, so plan in advance, and use that shit! 


》How to Book Classes and Training Sessions  

To book a class or training session go to the MFF Member Dashboard. From there you can visit our MINDBODY site directly and download the MFF App from the iPhone App Store or the Google Play Store.

Classes and training sessions are made available for booking on the 15th of each month at 12:00 pm ET for the following month. We highly encourage you to set yourself up for success and reserve your classes and training sessions early. Prime morning and evening times may be tough to book at the last minute!

Please don’t reserve more than one class or training session for the same day, so every Ninja has an equal opportunity to plan ahead and so you can avoid becoming an adrenaline junkie.


》How to Cancel a Visit

There are three types of cancellations:

  • Early Cancellations: Class and SGPT reservations may be canceled with no penalty, anytime prior to 6 hours before the scheduled start time.
  • Late Cancellations: If you discover that you will be unable to make a class or training session and it’s beyond the Early Cancellation period, we ask that you Late Cancel your reservation. Your credit will still count as used, but this courtesy will allow another Ninja to book your spot and you will avoid a No Show Fee.
  • No Shows: If you are a no show for a class or training session, you will be charged a No Show Fee of $10 for each missed appointment. We don’t like these and don’t want to charge you, so thanks for letting us know if you’re not gonna make it!

》How to Use the Waitlist

If your preferred class or training session is full, you may opt to add yourself to a digital waitlist via MINDBODY. 

Here are some important guidelines for managing your waitlist requests:

  • You should only waitlist yourself for one class or training session per day. 
  • If you already have a reserved class or training on the same day, you should cancel your current reservation before adding yourself to a waitlist for a different class or training.
  • If you sign up for a class or session then ALSO sign up for a waitlist to play the odds, that’s cheating. It makes it hard for other Ninjas to book, because you’re taking two spots. And the unicorns will be angry. And their wrath is not to be trifled with! 
  • If you are added to a class or training from the digital waitlist, you will be considered confirmed for that hour and normal cancellation policies apply. So, if you are no longer available for your waitlisted time, remove yourself from the waitlist.
  • The digital waitlist stops functioning two hours prior to each class, at which point the Standby List kicks in (see below).

Note: In order to get waitlist notifications from MINDBODY, you must opt in to receive emails and/or texts in the “My Info” section of your MINDBODY user profile. Reach out if you need assistance in changing your settings.


》How to Use the “Standby List”

The digital waitlist function ends two hours prior to your session’s scheduled start time. At that point, the waitlist will no longer be referenced to determine the order of Ninjas standing by to workout. 

Instead, you may sign up on the Standby List at the front desk when you arrive at the Clubhouse. If any spots are available at the start of the class, the front desk will add you to the class based on the order you signed in. 

If you have previously been confirmed for a later class in the same day, and make it into an earlier class from the standby list, we’ll be happy to courtesy cancel your original reservation. 


》How to Switch Appointments for the Same Day

You may move to another class or SGPT session on the day of your currently scheduled visit if there is space available and your confirmed visit has not yet occurred. All same day switches must be done in person and are subject to availability.

You can always standby for an earlier class by coming in person to The Clubhouse and signing up on the standby list. 


》Other Cool Perks of Membership  

In-Person Class Credits for Homebody Classes – Are you a class Ninja who can’t make it to Hell’s Kitchen OR simply can’t find the right class time for your schedule? Great news! You can use any in-person class credit for one of our live-coached, at-home, no equipment necessary, Homebody workouts and train with us from the comfort of your own home.

Simply go to the “Homebody” tab on MBO and sign up for the class of your choice, and we’ll Zoom the magic of MFF right into your home.

Small Group Personal Training Workouts – All SGPT Ninjas get access to three workouts per week. Once you’ve downloaded the TeamBuildr app that hosts our programs, you’re welcomed (and encouraged!) to use these workouts while in a muggle gym. This way you can be sure your workouts will always be effective and you’ll always know what to do when you hit the gym

Homebody On-Demand Library – All MFF members can access our library of on-demand Homebody workouts. This means if you’re on the road, or out of town for the weekend, or simply can’t get to MFF for your workout, you’ve got a great resource to workout anytime, anywhere; no equipment necessary!

To access your On-Demand Homebody video classes, you can go to the Membership Dashboard or click this direct link HERE


NOTE: We send out the updated password each month in our “Book Your Shit” email on the 15th of the month. For the current password, email us at [email protected].

Chapter 4: Managing Your Membership

Over the course of your health and hotness journey, you might need to freeze, change your Membership, or even (GASP) terminate. It’s all easy.

Chapter 4: Managing Your Membership

》First Things, First. We Want You to Like Us.

Seriously. We genuinely want you to have an awesome time. 

But if you don’t, all MFF services have a no-risk, no-hassle, 30-day money back guarantee. As a first-time Ninja who has never worked out at MFF before, you may terminate your agreement and receive a complete refund if you let us know you’re not digging it within 30 days of your first class or training session. 

We want to be your home for health and hotness glory, but if you’re not having a good time in the first month, just let us know. We’ll help you find a better fit in someone else’s loving arms. #SingleTearFalls


》How to Freeze Your Membership

Have to travel for work? Wanna finally meet that long-distance cyber lover? We get it. Your gym membership shouldn’t keep you from living your best life. We make freezing (or suspending) your Membership painless. 

The Membership Freeze Form can be found at

All 1 Year Memberships include 4 complimentary Freezes (anywhere in length from 2-8 weeks). After that, just pay $10 per week to freeze as long as you need. Memberships are automatically frozen during Snatched in Six Weeks. Medical exceptions are always taken on a case-by-case basis.

Your billing will be suspended for the duration of the freeze. The billing will automatically resume once the freeze period has ended. Any suspended payments will be added onto the initial term of your agreement, extending the Membership term by the length of the freeze.

Please allow 1-3 business days for us to process your request. We will do our best to accommodate last-minute requests, but our magic has some limitations.


》How to Change Your Membership

Making changes to your membership is simple. Want to come more frequently or add classes or training sessions to the mix? Need to scale back a bit during your summer of weekend getaways? We can help. 

The Membership Change Form can be found at

You are welcome to upgrade or downgrade your membership at any time. Please know that downgrading your membership will result in restarting the clock — meaning that your membership term will start again at the beginning of your 1 year term.  

Please allow 1-3 business days for us to process your request. We will do our best to accommodate last-minute requests, but our magic has some limitations. 


》How to Terminate Your Membership

We offer guilt-free Membership termination. Though we’d be sad to see you go, we’re committed to making the divorce as painless as possible. Give us a call at 212-356-0020 or email us at [email protected] to schedule a quick chat for us to get you squared away.

Please allow up to 3 business days post-chat for us to process your request. 

Here are the most common termination scenarios:

  • Terminating at the end of your current Membership agreement. There is no charge as long as you give us sufficient time to process your termination. We’ll miss you.
  • Terminating your Membership early. Early termination of a 1 year Membership is a flat fee of $250. 
  • Ninjas on a Cancel Anytime can, you guessed it, cancel anytime after their first 8 weeks! Please give us 2 weeks advanced notice, if possible. 
  • “No Fee” Terminations: If you have a medical issue that prevents you from utilizing your membership or if you move more than 10 miles from an MFF Clubhouse, you may terminate without penalty. We’ll just ask for a note from your doctor or a new billing address.

Chapter 5: Joining the MFF Community

MFF is a fitness studio, but many of our members find a bunch of like-minded pals they didn’t know they were missing. You’ll find more about connecting with your fellow Ninjas in this section.

Chapter 5: Joining the MFF Tribe

》Join our Official Facebook Group!

The MFF Virtual Ninja Clubhouse is the official home for the Ninja Army on Facebook. Membership to the group is open to any current member of Mark Fisher Fitness in New York City. Through this group, your MFF trainers and fellow Ninjas bring your fitness and nutrition commitments to your life outside the Clubhouse. 

We’ll serve up compelling health and hotness content, answer questions, offer challenges, and generally try to make your life more awesome. Our goal is to give you more support than ever to help you kick fitness ass.

There is also a growing list of unofficial Facebook Groups that have been created by Ninjas for Ninjas:

Ninjas 4 Ninjas – Discuss progress, offer support, share memes, post #classifriday listings, and more. 

Lisa’s Cooking Club – Get together with other Ninjas to cook your healthy meals together.

The Unicorn Glories – MFF’s LGBTQ group dedicated to fun, fitness-y excursions. All are welcome!


》Give the gift of FREE MFF to your frands (and get bribed!)

We prefer to grow MFF by meeting your weird friends. And we’d much rather give you cold, hard cash than line the pockets of our tech oligarchs via digital marketing.

You can gift any Brand-New-to-MFF Ninja one totally FREE workout by submitting their contact info in this form HERE. AND, if they fall in love with us, run away from home, and join our unicorn circus, we’ll credit you $50 towards your next auto-pay.


Other stuff new Ninjas ask us all the time.

Frequently Asked Questions From New Ninjas

“What do I wear?”

First and foremost, you should wear clothes that you feel comfortable in and that give you access to your full range of motion. In an ideal world, we ask you to wear clothes that allow the Training Team to see your body, so they can properly assess your technique. Sequins and spandex are always highly appreciated. 

For your feet, our strong preference is that you bring a pair of clean shoes to change into that you aren’t wearing on the street. We also suggest you wear minimal footwear or socks so you can feel the floor. Curious about what brands are best? Ask an MFF Team Member!

“What do I need to bring?”

Not much, actually. We have lockers and we provide towels for you to use during your workout. In addition to our selection of subtle dildos, MFF is pleased to provide toiletries in the changing rooms. Products include body wipes, dry shampoo, spray deodorant, body lotion and hair ties. And if you need—we provide tampons in the restrooms. So, bring your water bottle and a great attitude!

“What’s the difference between the class types?”

Every Ninja should start by taking at least three Ninja Essentials classes to learn to NAIL the basics. It is also a great workout for advanced Ninjas who want to work on mastery! Kick-Ass Conditioning is an advanced class for serious sweating and killer conditioning. Superhero Strength, although still “cardio with weights,” has a bit more of a strength emphasis. Circuit Party (Homebody only) is a circuit training adventure that will ramp up your fitness with a variety of training tools. 

Variety is the spice of life! We encourage you to take different classes each time you come to the Clubhouse. But don’t sweat it. Ultimately, all of our classes are going to provide you with an excellent workout. The important thing is that you show up. We’ll take it from there.

“Are gloves allowed with all of the kettlebell work at the Clubhouse?”

Nope, we don’t use gloves in class. While gloves may spare your hands from some calluses, they’re not the safest choice when it comes to maintaining your grip on the handle of the bell. We have had some bells go flying because of glove use, so for this reason, there are no gloves allowed in any MFF classes.

“What’s up with this 4-week program cycle? Should I start on Week 1? ”

At MFF, we help you avoid boredom and plateaus. To ensure you continue getting results, we program a four-week program cycle in both Classes and Small Group Personal Training. This means that every four weeks the core exercises in each class change, then get progressively challenging each week. Week 1 is designed to be a learning week and will often have longer rest periods between exercises in classes, and less total sets in SGPT. Week 4 is meant to really challenge you to reach new levels of fitness glory. You can start your MFF class journey during any week of the cycle. The instructor will always give you options for “running your own race” — so don’t worry about starting on a particular week.

“What’s up with not having showers at the Hell’s Kitchen Clubhouse?”

Here’s the deal. We tried to make it work for our beloved Ninja Army, but after spending a ton of money, we found out our space doesn’t allow for showers, due to NYC permit complications. Womp womp.

If you haven’t done so already, check out our changing rooms, which are stocked with a plethora of FREE and fancy toiletries to help you freshen up.

“Will I get laid?”

Yes. Def.