The longer I’m in the health and hotness game, the more I appreciate the infinite detail of the basic human movements: the subtle nuances of the angle of the knee in relation to the foot in a lunge, the various versions of an anatomically neutral spine in different people, the wrist alignment in a dumbbell press. There are entire universes of complexity in the simplest movements.
And lo and behold… the MFF Team doth grow by one more Fitness Ninja Warrior! Ladies and gentleman, I proudly present to you Jenna Zemering, our newest trainer! I’ve actually been working with Jenna for several weeks as she’s been learning the ways of the Fisher Fitness Ninja, and I can tell you she is …
If there’s one thing I can tell you about the fitness industry, it’s this: there are very few things everybody agrees on. From training modalities to nutrition strategies – even to specific foods – you can usually find folks who passionately support or vilify pretty much anything. So I decided to make a little list of the things on which there’s actual agreement. It’s not long… but it’s something!
We talk a lot about “Health and Hotness” round these parts. It’s kind of what we do at MFF. We make people healthy, and we make them look hot. The first part isn’t very controversial. After all, it’s totally acceptable to tell your coworker Nancy you’ve started working with a fitness coach because you want to be healthier. Tell this same coworker you’re training for “hotness”, and you’re likely to get an eye roll. Or more likely, a polite but fake encouragement followed by Nancy gossiping and giggling about your new goal to the other ladies at lunch.
I work with a lot of dancers. I also work with people that spend a lot of time around dancers. Actors, singers, move-wellers, etc.I feel that I have a unique advantage working these folks because I used to be a part of that culture. I may not have a been a great dancer, but I immersed myself in it pretty intensively in college and studied very hard to maximize my modest talents. I’ve also spent (and continue to spend) most of my social time with folks who live in that world, so it’s fair to say… I know them pretty well. We hang out, we go out, we make out. Kidding! (no I’m not.)
From Stu McRobert’s Beyond Brawn: “This gym is all appearance and no substance. It is only because we have a lot of fancy-looking equipment that we impress everyone who knows little or nothing about training. Because we have spent a lot of money on marginal, useless and sometimes dangerous equipment we must encourage our members to use it. We never encourage the old-fashioned basic exercises. In fact, to save you from being tempted to use the latter, you will never find a power rack or lifting platform here, and the squat racks we have are flimsy and unused. Who on earth wants to squat? Too much like hard work. Our instructors are as useless as we are, though some of them have very good physiques due to excellence genetics and/or use of steroids. To deter you from using the time-proven most productive (but most uncomfortable) exercises, we have joined ranks with other gyms to perpetuate the hokum that basic barbell exercises are dangerous and, at best, only useful for beginners who are not fortunate enough to train in a modern well-equipped gym like ours. This is convenient for us though, because we barely know the first thing of instructing safe and productive technique in the biggest and best barbell exercises. We promote the idea that you need a wide variety of isolation and machine exercises in every workout. We make exercise fun. You can watch yourself in the many mirrors we have, listen to music we entertain you with, talk while you train, and ogle the skimpily clad bodies of the genetically blessed, sensual female instructors we employ to keep you interested in renewing your membership. Training here is fun, and fun means lots of members, though few of them stay long term. We depend on a constant influx of new members to make a profit. Welcome to this gym. We promise we will not push you hard, and we hope you will enjoy your time here. That is, you will enjoy it until you realize that the methods we promote will not help make you big and strong unless you have fantastic genetics or are pumped up on gear. Or like our regulars you will decide to forget about getting big and strong, and come here only for social contacts and visual kicks. Welcome to our gym!”
Check out my article on www.functionalmovement.com! I’m totally honored I was asked to do this as I LOVE me some FMS. Thanks Functional Movment Systems!
One of the most controversial topics in the fitness industry these days is the good old crunch. More specifically, rounding the low back, something we call spinal flexion when we speak in our secret club language of Pretentious Asshole.
Here’s a super fast, but SUPER important one. If you’re looking to get leaner, you really aren’t doing yourself a favor by drinking your calories.
It’s time. You’re ready to do this. You want to lose those five pounds that are making you uncomfortable during beach time. You dust off the gym card and hit the gym. You start doing cardio for 60 minutes 5 days a week. BOOM.