“I feel most proud when I look at my day and wonder if I've run the race with myself better than the day before.” - Ninja Christian
My life has been plagued by a nasty mantra: “I am an also-ran.” This simple phrase has pervaded every aspect of my life, from career to relationships, spirituality to finances. When one of these also-ran moments comes along, I get completely derailed; I’ve stopped projects, left relationships, moved cities. Additionally, to avoid the disappointment of being an also-ran, a failure, I’ve developed a whole list of tactics to sabotage myself as I reach for my goals. I found it comforting to know there was a reason for failure, even if I, myself, had intentionally or knowingly caused that failure.
I came to Mark Fisher Fitness because I wanted to build the skill of facing my obstacles head-on; I wanted to put myself in an environment where there was no evading, no work-around, no capitulating and, most of all, no self-sabotage. Along the way I tightened my waist, tightened my hips, dropped nearly 10 lbs, and developed muscles I didn’t think I’d ever see on my body. I’ve made breakfast a habit, I’m taking care of my skin, I sleep better and I am taking control of my life and my decisions.
When I reflect on how I have changed over these six months, I am most struck by how my mind sees the world differently. I had been so busy trying to run races with everyone I came into contact with, that I didn’t notice I was running myself in circles. Now, I feel most proud when I look at my day and wonder if I’ve run the race with myself better than the day before. Some days I fail, but now I believe in myself enough to know I pick myself up and get back in the race. I run the race against me, now, and the best part is that no matter what, I always fucking win.